Anger. We see it and we feel it all around us lately. It’s the emotion that is ever present in our personal lives, on the television, on the radio, via social networks: everywhere people are getting angry. Where does all this anger come from, what is it’s function and how can we limit the flow of anger in our daily lives?
Anger is what happens when we let a wound get infected. You can see anger as the puss of a wound that got infected. As well on a personal level as on a societal level, anger is useful because it helps us detect our sore spots and it indicates that the wound needs healing. Anger is there to push us to take action, to motivate us to take care of ourselves. In itself anger is not bad, because it helps drain the impurities from the wound, but it can certainly be a painful experience if we have no clue how to deal with it.
If you feel like you’re surrounded by a lot of anger lately, this is normal. It’s because at this moment we’re experiencing a global declogging of the emotional blockages we’ve been building up during centuries. Anger is part of this and indicates the areas of our personal lives, of our society, that need healing.
We need to evacuate all this energetic bagage before we can evolve to another level of communication that will be more intuitive, more telepathic. Imagine that you would be able to see and feel the emotions and thoughts of all the people you meet: in the current state of affairs this is simply not possible because this would be an agression of your senses. We need to be more balanced, more centered before we can establish a communication that flows from the heart.
This great “planetary declogging” coincides with a revolution in the way we communicate, which kind of complicates matters. At the moment we have plenty of different channels that we use to communicate with the outside world and there are many injuries and frustrations that are being expressed on public ground. Many people are still trying to find the middle ground between the private sphere and the public sphere and this leads to situations where some emotions are expressed in the wrong place with all kinds of unwanted consequences that could be avoided. We’re not used to being confronted with all these emotions that are being displayed publicly and this throws us a bit off balance.
For many people, anger is a necessary step to break free from indifference and to reconnect to their feelings. However, if our aspiration is to live a balanced life and if we want to live in a world of harmony, the goal is to transform our anger. To help transform our world and create a balanced world, we need to stay centered in our hearts, otherwise we risk to get destabilised by the changes and revolutions in the world around us.
Anger, if it is not drained, is an emotion that upsets us, weakens us and that diverts us away from our heart.
The different steps to evacuate anger
Drain the abscess
The first step in handling anger is recognising that you feel it. It’s all very well and noble of you to want to live in unconditional love, but ignoring your anger will not make it go away. It is important that you are capable of admitting that you’re angry. Don’t stay in the illusion that you’re above anger. Even if your words and actions talk of love, if your feelings and emotions are anger, then you will send out anger. It’s your feelings that determine the energy you send out.
The more you broadcast anger, the more you will attract events and people that will maintain you in this angry energy. Draining the abscess is the best thing you can do to prevent things from degenerating on the inside. Anger, if it is too present or if we macerate to long in it, will destabilise us. It’s an emotion that distances us from our heart and that distorts our feelings and intuition. The longer the anger lasts, the more time it will have to pull you away from your center. It is not in your best interest to suppress anger or to let it go on indefinitely.
Look for the source of the anger
Where does my anger come from? Why do I feel angry? Why does this situation disturb me? Which part of my personal life is mirrored in the situation that exasperates me?
When you are angry with someone or with a certain situation, there is always a wound underneath the anger. This wound can be a multitude of things: lack of self love, a feeling of helplessness, difficulty to make people respect you, insecurities, fear, …. To adequately remove anger, you have to pull out it’s roots.
Don’t keep it hidden inside, express your anger, talk to someone that understands you. Often we just need someone to listen, we just need someone that recognises and understands our wound. The emotions that pull us out of balance (fear, anger, hate, sadness, melancholy, etc.) are best expressed in an environment we trust, because we are dealing with a wound that needs healing.
Don’t go and express your anger to someone that will not understand you or to people that don’t have the same way of seeing things as you do, because you will hit a wall of incomprehension that can only amplify your problem.
Anger is best expressed in an intimate circle instead of in the public domain. If you cut your finger, you will go see a doctor you trust. You don’t step out into the street and ask the first person that passes to take care of you. Then why would you do this with your emotional injuries?
Let me give you a concrete example: many people ventilate their anger on Facebook. Certain people do this on their own wall and others will even go and ventilate their anger in facebook groups that are completely contrary to their beliefs. This is a perverted mechanism that is put into place when people (consciously or not) look to be maintained in the same energy of anger, they even try to reinforce their anger. The only result that can come from this is the deepening of their wounds.
Once you’ve been able to detect the source of your anger, the underlying wound, you can do something about it. What can you do to heal this wound, to transform your relation to this kind of situation in the future.
For example: you feel angry about the pollution in our world and the state of our natural environment. What can you apply, what can you change in your daily life to help remedy this problem? How can you inspire others to take this issue seriously and adapt their life style? How can you set an example and help resolve this problem? Transforming your life and living in accord to your ideals completely changes your relation to situations that make you angry. Taking action changes the feeling of powerlessness in this situation, we become active in the issue instead of just undergoing it’s consequences.
How to react when we’re confronted with other people’s anger?
What is our responsibility in the issue?
Not always easy, this requires clarity of mind and a good evaluation of our intentions and our actions. Roughly: if our actions are founded in anger, we harvest anger. If we send out anger, we attract anger.
What was your true intention in this situation? Was your intention based in your heart or was it inspired by one of your wounds? Was your goal to attack or to create? The difference can be subtle, but this subtlety will make all the difference when we manifest our reality.
For example: You feel anger towards the food industry that doesn’t respect your consumer rights and that wants to prevent you from knowing the ingredients of the food you eat. You recognised a feeling of powerlessness that is at the root of your anger. You decide to take action and create a platform to inform people on the positive effects of a healthy life style and the dangers of unhealthy eating habits to change your feeling of helplessness. The result of your actions will depend on your true intentions.
Is it your intention to destroy the food-processing industry or to catalyse a positive change in people’s eating habits? There is a world of difference between those 2. In the first case it is your anger that is making the decisions, you emit destructive energy and you will harvest destruction. In the second case your desire to catalyse a positive change is your true intention and so you will be able to change things in a positive manner.
You can reverse the question to see more clearly: is the result of my actions positive, do my words and actions stimulate positive feelings and results or do I often create anger for myself and around myself? What is the effect of my words/actions? Do more people find a way to be happy, to joy, to love and to independence or do I stimulate fear, anger, hate and sadness in people? If you are often confronted with angry people or unhappy people, then it could be time to have a look into your intentions and the energy you send out.
Don’t justify yourself
When someone is angry with you, don’t try to justify or defend yourself, this will only amplify the anger of the other person and stimulate anger in yourself. An angry person is always up against himself. You have nothing to prove and if you take part in the battle, you will lower your energy to put yourself on the same level as the other person. We are always confronted with ourselves in every situation. It’s sufficient that you have a clear vision of the intentions of your actions, everything that comes from outside of you is interpretation.
The angry person is someone that is hurt. Being aware of this can help let go of and put into perspective the anger that is directed towards you. Anger ALWAYS comes from a wound and often you just triggered an emotion in the other person for reasons far beyond what is visible on the surface. Someone can recognise certain wounds in you or you remind them of certain sore spots in their own lives and they get angry.
You always have a choice when you deal with the anger of another person: you can choose to pour oil or water on the fire. A fire needs to be fed to keep going, if you pay no attention to it, it just dies out quietly.
Don’t let your ego get the better of you and go into debate. Choose to extinguish the fire and move on, your energy is of better use elsewhere.
Move away from anger whenever possible.
Do certain situations or people often make you angry? What is the added value of those people in your life and what is the advantage of you staying in the situation that makes you angry? If the scale of a relationship or a situation is tipping much more towards negative than positive, it is time to move away from there. Sometimes it is necessary to take physical distance, to distance yourself emotionally or to cut the ties if a situation has become toxic for yourself.
Don’t accept to be drawn away by anger and choose to change the circumstances that often make you feel angry. You have the right and even a responsibility towards yourself to do so. The events we experience and the people we meet can always teach us something. However, when we reach the point where we often feel negative and when the situation is threatening to transform us into a lesser version of ourselves, it is time to act.
The more you distance yourself from anger, the more you will make way for positive feelings and experiences.