Let’s talk about misogyny. The official definition of misogyny is deep hatred of men towards women and/or girls. My personal experience of misogyny is a lot closer to that of Kate Manne (Philosopher and author of “Down Girl – the logic of misogyny”) where she defines misogyny as “Social systems or environments where women face hostility and hatred because they’re women in a man’s world — a historical patriarchy. » I don’t believe men hate women, I believe men admire and love women but that many men feel very threatened by a woman in her power. Misogyny is a lot subtler than “I hate you because you are a woman”, it is women having to work 4 times harder to prove their worth, it is women being looked over for promotions, in art shows, in interviews, in literature… It is women receiving the “who do you think you are”-treatment for just doing their thing. It is women being called selfish or inconsiderate by their partners for being ambitious or pursuing their dreams. It is men choosing docile partners. It is men assuming that they make the decision within a relationship or partnership. It is women underplaying their abilities, their strength, their power to avoid triggering the masculine.
My personal experience of misogyny is of that subtle kind. I haven’t had men physically threaten me or verbally abuse me, but I have experienced other kinds of misogyny. For me it manifests as my partner automatically receiving more credibility from some because he is a man, it manifests as people assuming my partner is the “brains” behind our joint professional activities or people congratulating him on insightful articles I wrote. It is being interviewed with my husband and being given 10% of the questions and a considerably lower quality of questions. It is men in the workplace, in the spiritual world, feeling triggered by my power and getting competitive and unpleasant because of this, or somehow misinterpreting my lack of discomfort at being in this world as a sexual thing. My experience of misogyny comes from men who wouldn’t identify as such but who subtly try to undermine my power or authority. I trigger some men, not by doing anything in particular, but just by being me.
I have been having many conversations with women around the misogyny over the last couple of days. Women from many different spiritual and religious backgrounds, from different cultural backgrounds. Often the misogyny comes from the people closest to them, their husbands, fathers, partners, colleagues. It is a patronizing voice, a voice dissuading them from pursuing their purpose, a voice expressing fear for them “making themselves seen”, a voice downplaying the importance or validity of their feelings and dreams etc.
Ofcourse all these conversations had a profound effect on me and I woke up in the middle of the night with the following words pouring out of me, so I decided to share them:
Dear Men of this earth,
Stop fighting the feminine, this is a battle you cannot win. This is a battle you don’t want to win, even if you’re being fooled into believing that you do. Why won’t you win this battle? Not because the feminine is destined to vanquish you and take over from you, but because things were always supposed to go back to balance. You cannot win this because you are fighting the natural order of life, of the universe, of the divine. Life naturally organizes itself harmoniously and this implies balance, equality.
We understand your fear and we are compassionate towards your fear and uncertainties, but this doesn’t mean we will accept violence, suppression, bullying, exclusion or hate. We have lived and functioned from fear for centuries, millennia ourselves. You might fear that you will become irrelevant if you lose your dominance, if you lose your status. You might fear that you will no longer count. But see, we don’t love you for your status symbols or for your “position” in the world, nor for the praise or attention you get. We love you for who you are. Not what you have, not what you do, who you are. You are being held hostage by a dark and violent system that has convinced you that you have no worth without those external symbols, that you are not good enough just being you. The same system that has suppressed the feminine and that some of you are desperately defending and many unconsciously clinging on to. The same system that has convinced you that the feminine in her power is to be feared, for she will take things away from you, she will devour you.
This is not true. We are not out to destroy you. Our intention is beauty, our actions emerge from a deep desire for freedom, ours as much as yours. We enjoy your company and we would very much like for you to join us in creating a world of harmony, our deepest desire is to be joined with you in love. But. If you think we will hold back for the sake of your company, you are mistaken. We will no longer silence our truth, we will no longer tune down our power, nor withhold our light. We are sorry if you feel threatened by standing next to a woman in her power, for this is not our intention. But you see, we can no longer hold back because the stakes are now higher then ever. We are being rallied by mother earth to be her emissaries of love and harmony. The goddess herself is speaking through us and we know that the fate of humanity depends upon our ability to restore balance. So, for the sake of the planet, we are moving out of the shadows. This coming into our power is non-negotiable. It is not something that is done against you, it is not about you at all really, it is done FOR the planet, for humanity, for harmony, for love.
With love and compassion,
The women of this earth
(EN) Priestess and weaver of inspirations and dreams, I create sparks and connections between inner realms and outer perceptions, between spirit, soul and body. The main themes of my multi-coloured tapestry are the path of the Sacred Feminine and the quest for harmony, with a dash of wonder, magic and a whole lot of authenticity woven into it.
(FR) Prêtresse et tisseuse d’inspirations et de rêves, je crée des étincelles et connexions entre le monde intérieur et les perceptions extérieures, entre esprit, âme et corps. Les fils rouges de mon tapis multicolore sont le chemin du féminin sacré et la quête de l’harmonie avec comme principaux motifs l’émerveillement, la magie et l’authenticité.