Why would I let my heart guide me?
Your heart is a special compass that you received at birth to give you a sense of direction in life. Unfortunately this compass is almost always replaced by the head at a certain age. Decisions we take with our hearts are decisions that are suited for us, decisions that have been taken BY us FOR us. Your heart is 100% you. To listen to your heart is to listen to your soul and to understand its wishes and dreams. To listen to your heart is to follow the path to happiness.
Decisions that you take with your head are always decisions that have been influenced, formatted by our entourage that consists of our family, friends, society, our education and upbringing. Your psyche always limits, it takes its decisions by confronting an idea to the limits of your abilities (or what you think you are capable of). Your heart doesn’t know limits, it only knows possibilities. Decisions that have been guided by the head are often decisions we regret, or that create frustrations afterwards.
How do I know if I’m using the right compass?
My decisions and my life are guided by my head
My decisions and my life are guided by my heart
|– I often say “Yes, but..”||– I can’t explain it, but I know that everything will turn out right|
|– I often worry if I’m taking the right decision||– I feel motivated by an invisible force|
|– I often worry about what other people may think of me||– I take decisions in accord to who I am|
|– I’m forgetful||– I have a clear mind|
|– I want people to look up to me||– I love to share ideas, experiences|
|– I’m often lost in thoughts||– I’m attentive when someone talks to me|
|– I often use the phrase “I was told that”||– I do everything I do with great passion|
|– I’m always ready to defend myself||– I don’t feel the need to defend my ideas|
|– I’m nervous||– I’m calm, reassuring|
|– I always worry about the “how” when I have an idea||– I know what I want, we’ll see about the how later|
|– I need a lot of feedback||– I notice synchronicities in life, I can see the signs that I’m moving in the right direction|
|– I often criticise others||– Everything I undertake makes me happy|
|– I always want to convince||– I love to learn new things|
What can I do when I realise I’m being guided by the “wrong” compass?
Don’t panic, it’s never to late to make some adaptations and to change the course! Here are some simple first steps to turn your life around and to appoint a more successful chief counsellor and become completely autonomous and independent.
1. Take a piece of paper and write down what you want in life. We’re always very good at saying what we don’t want, but let’s take the time to write down everything we would like to have/keep (material and immaterial). This is a first step to assess where you find yourself exactly in the realisation of your dreams and to change things if you’ve taken a wrong turn.
2. Define your 4 core values. Which values are essential to you? You want to build your life around which values? The 4 values you choose are the 4 values you can use to lead your life right now. (these values can change after a while). From there on, you will take these values every time you’ve got a major decision to take and you test if the new situation is in line with these values.
I’ll give you mine as an example: Joy, Love, Gratitude and Authenticity. I pay attention, whenever I start something new, that what I’ll be doing will make me happy, I will be able to do it with love, I feel gratitude when I visualise my goal and this action is coherent with who I am.
3. Evaluate your counsellors. You can always ask the advice of other people, just be careful that you’re the one taking the decisions. And also, pay attention to who you ask advice of. Does the person I’m asking for advice share my values or have similar values? Does this person have the kind of life I would feel comfortable in? Is this person an expert in the field I’m asking him advice about? Is this someone who follows up on his dreams? If the answer is no, you should change your counsellor.
I will assure you, these things will become easy after a certain period of time. Your head will cooperate with your heart after a while, in stead of always trying to control it and the decisions you will take will be decisions that correspond to your values and your dreams, even without thinking about it. Your life will be more suited for you without making a big effort.